Divorce proceedings are often largely emotional. Dissatisfaction with the marriage, distance between the spouses and other deeply personal concerns contribute to the breakdown of the marital relationship. While the factors that lead to the marriage failing are emotional, the divorce process is largely practical.
The courts cannot resolve emotional disputes but instead prioritize severing the financial and legal ties that bind spouses to one another. Frequently, people preparing for divorce let their emotions dictate what happens. They respond to provocations from their spouses and end up embroiled in unnecessary conflict because they let their emotions determine how they behave.
In many cases, it may be possible to achieve a better long-term outcome by setting clear goals and remaining focused on them. Setting goals typically occurs before spouses even separate from one another. How can people set appropriate divorce goals and then achieve them?
By understanding what is possible
People often end up fighting with their spouses and feeling frustrated with divorce proceedings because they seek outcomes that aren’t realistic. They assume that they can secure sole custody of their children even though such outcomes are relatively rare.
They insist on keeping certain assets out of the property division process, even though those assets may technically be subject to equitable distribution statutes. When people understand the laws that apply to property division, financial support and parenting matters, it may be easier for them to focus on setting realistic goals.
By focusing on the future, not on the past
Many people approach divorce court as a means of vindicating themselves after a marriage fails. However, the goal should not be to punish a spouse for the failure of the marriage but rather to secure terms that allow for the happiest, most comfortable life possible after divorce.
People who think about what they truly require to live a healthy and meaningful life after ending a marriage can set themselves up for a faster and more amicable divorce and may ultimately feel happier with the outcome of the process. Frequently, people need the insight of an attorney to understand what is achievable and reasonable given their marital circumstances.
Once they have set reasonable goals, they can then develop a viable strategy for every stage of the divorce. They can gather records, file at a strategic time and approach negotiations with a focus on the bigger picture.
Those who focus on achieving specific goals may ultimately feel happier with the outcome of their divorce proceedings than those who let their emotions guide every major decision. Setting goals and securing the right support early in the divorce process can make a significant difference for those expecting to divorce in the near future.